I grew up with alcohol addiction and violence. My step father would go out drinking, return home intoxicated and inevitably, a fight would ensue. Those experiences had a tremendous effect on me as a child and influenced how I navigated the world. As an adult, I found myself married to an individual who also had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I didn't initially see it as a problem. He was different from my step father. He was never angry, he worked a corporate job, he was the life of the party - an all around nice guy, except for the fact that he was battling depression behind closed doors and used alcohol to cope. I thought my love for him could conquer his dependency.
Today because of my dedication to healing my own wounds, I can support my family members where they are without losing myself in the process. I have finally figured out that taking care of me is paramount and that I am not responsible for the decisions that my loved ones make. This has been especially significant when it comes to my adult children. I no longer take responsibility nor blame myself for the life that they are living. I have made amends, taken control of my life and have decided to be an example of what healing looks like.