For most of my life I have dealt with addiction either as a co-dependent or a practicing addict. I grew up surrounded by addiction. While living in an alcoholic family I experienced trauma, physical, and emotional abuse and it wasn’t long before I began my own travels down the road to alcohol addiction. I used alcohol to escape from my reality, to fit in and to numb my emotions. After a few years of binge drinking during my time in the military and seeing several of my friends become alcoholics I stopped drinking. I have an addictive personality, so it wasn’t long before I had switched my addictive behaviours from alcohol to pornography. I used pornography for pretty much the same reasons I used alcohol, to escape reality and to fit in (or so I thought). Once I got married is when I realised my addiction to porn had changed me far more then I thought was possible. Porn was costing me intimacy with my wife and alienating me from human interactions for the novelty and unreal expectations of pornography. The shame I felt drove me to hide my addiction even deeper and avoid seeking help.
Today, I am a much happier person, having faced some of my demons and overcome them. I love to be in nature and to work with my hands by blacksmithing and woodworking. I have an amazing marriage and two wonderful adult children. There is a peace I have grown to love which I never had while I was stuck in my addictions.